Raw was LIVE from The Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, LA on 6/13/2016!
-Oh wow. I’m actually speechless. They started off RAW with a moment of silent dedication in honor of the shooting at Pulse nightclub in Orlando, FL. It was a very somber moment and I will allow the good people at the Scrum Sports to speak about that on the podcast tomorrow, but that was nice to see. Orlando is a wonderful city and it’s so very nice to see Raw acknowledging that horrific tragedy. Thanks to the Mcmahons and those in charge for doing that.
-AWWW! NEW ORLEANS! The show starts with a high spot featuring the world tag team champions, The New Day. The commentators talk about the fatal four way tag team title match taking place at Money In The Bank as the New Day have live mics, which is always a treat. They treat New Orleans to some hi-jinx with the Owl call as Kofi plugs the new Steph Curry Under Armour shoes. Those are sick, but Big E. and Xavier troll the effort as they refer to them as old man shoes, saying that they aren’t popular on the streets, maybe the streets of Greenwich. Greenwich is tough, just ask Shane O’Mac and the Mean Street Posse. I love Steph Curry, just stop with the mouthpiece chewing, it’s annoying. The convo is interrupted as the crowd noise goes into overload as Enzo Amore and Big Cass head out to the ring to go toe to toe with The New Day. They say “How U Doin” and The New Day say “Lovely” and “Great Actually”. Fantastic! Cass references the Unicorn horns being “for her pleasure”. Then Cass cracks on Kofi’s Curry’s being the “Jerry Seinfeld” special. Brilliant! Kofi says “Respeck Ya’ Veteran”. This is sensational. There is literally a whole spot where Cass references Enzo’s lips being all over Xavier’s girl, being “Frannie” or Francesca too. Enzo said they may be in New Orleans, but Frannie is no saint. Just let them talk all night, please. There are so many sexual references about a trombone, it’s almost too much, but in a good day. There is a Louie Armstrong reference. Rest in peace Satchmo. The Vaudevillians are out to ruin a very fun party however. Aiden English sings. He shoulda been at the Tony Awards last night, surely a cameo in a future Broadway show. He has quite the voice. The song is cut short as Gallows and Anderson are out to have their say. They say they are the fun police and they are walking away with the tag team titles. They say winning the belts will be easier then scoring a Touchdown on the Saints. Not the best defense last year sadly, about as bad as my Cowboys quite frankly. They set up for an eight man tag team match to follow the first commercial. A well timed one this week actually, somebody probably got canned.
Eight Man Tag Team Match:
The New Day and Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson and The Vaudevillians
-Back with the New Day in charge over the Vaudevillians. Unicorn Stampede on Gotch with Enzo going crazy on the apron with a shuffle, cheering on his teammates. Xavier plays Francesca 2, and they reference her being a “trombone about town” if you will. Enzo in with a high crossbody on English, but the tables are shortly turned. He was ON THE WINGS OF EAGLES for a moment. Scrum Sports’ Ryan Adams and Trevor Grout will appreciate that one for sure. Enzo back in charge with a flurry of offense as they reference English making a cameo in “Hamilton” because of his voice. Tremendous. Big Cass is in and he clears the ring. What potential he’s got. Great on the stick and getting better in the ring. He reminds me of a seven foot Edge, AND YOU CAN’T TEACH THAT! Kofi Kingston is tagged in and pulls out the most incredible spot before a commercial. He charges and literally flies over the ropes and the top turnbuckle with a somersault splash on the opposition. The height was incredible. Back from the break and Big. E in control with an abdominal stretch on Gotch. Big E. is showboating but is drilled by a thunderous clothesline from Luke Gallows on the apron. Kofi in after some further action and he’s all over the place. He plants Anderson, who eventually ducks a Trouble in Paradise attempt. A crossbody and a lateral press is broken up by Gotch. Big Cass is in and he boots Simon Gotch off the apron. Big E. through the ropes onto English and Anderson and Gallows are in. They hit Magic Killer on Kofi Kingston for the three count after a great opening bout.
Winners: Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson and The Vaudevillians
-A video package follows the eight man tag as they setup for the Ambrose Asylum later featuring Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. The video is a clip of the Shield’s formation years back. Commercial.
-Another Darren Young/Bob Backlund “Make Darren Young Great Again” promo.
-Shane McMahon and Stephanie McMahon in the back. Steph thinks she should run both RAW and Smackdown after the brand split where here comes “Corporate” Kane. He’s got some ideas that will make Smackdown “red hot”. I see what you did there Demon, I see what you did there.
-More Shield highlights of them coming out to help out Daniel Bryan a few years back. That was a cool segment.
-Another promo advising us to visit the beautiful beaches of Puerto Rico to wiggle our toes. We don’t have to worry about oil spills, beer cans and other terrible things. I suppose we’ll see The Shining Stars again soon.
-The music of Titus O’Neil plays and he begins to make his way out to the ring but he is quickly assaulted by the US Champion, Rusev, who works him over viciously. Titus is draped across the ramp and he is pounded with forearm shots and a kick to the back of the head. The crowd boos. A stomp to the back is the precursor to the Accolade which is applied on the ramp as Titus writhes in pain. Rusev looking very strong and is referred to as a “madman” as the two men head towards a championship match at MITB on Sunday.
-Another clip of the Shield with “Plan B”, the epic turn of Rollins where he assaulted Reigns and Ambrose with chair shots. That was very unexpected at the time. That segment will take place after the commercial.
-The Ambrose Asylum with members of the Shield is up next and Ambrose is out promoting MITB. He puts over and plugs John Cena, Charlotte and Jericho with praise and insults. He invites out The “scum of the earth” Seth Rollins who is out to a mixed reaction. The world heavyweight champion, Roman Reigns, out next, to a thunderous chorus of boos as he makes his way into the ring. Best sign in the arena, “Here comes Roman Reigns, Start Crying Smarks”. I chuckled. “Hounds Of Justice” chant. Those were amazing times. Ambrose asks Rollins about the knee. Rollins plugs the special on the network. Rollins say the knee is 100%. “Thank You Rollins” chant. Ambrose asks about the face, he says it’s killing him. Rip. Roman is asked how he’s enjoying the Big Easy. Says he had a good time on Bourbon street. Ambrose asks Seth about drinking margaritas and he makes a vague reference to Sting coming out of a gift box to attack Rollins last year. He calls him a party pooper and that gets a chant. Rollins actually references the good times they had together. Rollins says the best times he ever had in the ring were with his brothers. He references the incredible six man against the Wyatts and they talk about sending Batista packing. The crowd chants “Blue-tista”. Okay, I am a fan of the Big Easy for that one. Brilliant. Rollins says his best time was at the expense of his brothers with the chair shots and when he cashed in the MITB and won the title at ‘Mania. Rollins says Reigns has the belt because his knee gave out carrying the company. Rollins said Reigns did well while he was gone, beating Ambrose and then Sheamus, and of course HHH. Rollins said Reigns hasn’t beaten him. He says Roman can’t beat him, because he is better. Rollins is two steps ahead. Reigns says that Rollins broke up a brotherhood for what? Greed? Limelight? Reigns says if Rollins wants the spotlight, he’ll have it on Sunday. He says he’ll be “the guy” because he beat Seth. Ambrose says whomever wins might be the victim of a cash in if Ambrose wins MITB. Rollins puts the boots to Ambrose and Reigns hits a superman punch on Rollins only to turn around and get a Dirty Deeds as a thanks. Ambrose’ music plays the way to a commercial. Good hype segment.
-Before they actually make the cut, they show John Cena backstage talking to Shane McMahon. They hype a singles bout later where Charlotte will take on Paige. Next Monday on RAW, we’ll have a Stone Cold Podcast with AJ Styles. Sold on that one!
-Back and Dean Ambrose runs into Steph who explains that Shane brought back his show and she books Ambrose against Jericho for later in the evening. Ambrose says all that bile, all the poison running through her veins, is it contagious? She says hatred can be good if he knows how to use it.
Charlotte (c) vs. Paige
-Becky Lynch and Natalya on commentary. Bell sounds and the action is underway. “This Is My House” callout early by Paige. Back and forth action highlighted by a brilliant running knee strike to the face by Paige. Charlotte is dumped in front of her Sunday opponents who are plugging Nattie’s cat’s instagram. Dana flanks Charlotte, but the distraction leads to Charlotte eating a Rampaige in the ring as Paige gets the three count and a non-title victory to gain herself some momentum.
-Backstage with Renee Young and Cesaro. She asks about a matchup later between Cesaro and Sami Zayn. Zayn joins the segment as the two banter about Zayn interrupting the segment. Cesaro says Zayn is the kind of guy who acts like a child, who shows up and puts his feet on the coffee table. Zayn takes offense to being talked down too. Cesaro says that’s been in the company four years and Zayn has been there for four months. Cesaro says Zayn has a lot to prove and he has that opportunity tonight. Commercial.
-Backstage with Charlotte and Dana arguing, saying that gotta get on the same page Sunday. They head back to the ring for a singles bout and they hype the pre-show for MITB where Sheamus will take on Apollo Crews.
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
-The bell sounds as Sheamus is working Ryder over early. Ryder with the comeback and he dumps Sheamus to the floor. A broski boot in the corner. He kicks Sheamus on the ropes and then with the elbro-drop off the top rope. Two count only. Rough Ryder attempt, but Sheamus dumps him up and over and Ryder hits the turnbuckle. He turns and eats a Brogue kick and this one is over before I can even take a sip of coffee. After the bell, Sheamus works over Ryder as Apollo Crews hits the ring and he takes Sheamus down and sends him through the ropes with a forearm shot. Sheamus escapes through the crowd as the fans reacts positively for Apollo Crews, who has a real opportunity to sink his teeth into something solid with this program with Sheamus.
-Highlights of the 2010 MITB match which Kane won and cashed in that night on Rey Mysterio Jr. I loved it, because I wanted somebody to win it and cash in the same night. He did and won. It was a great moment for Kane fans. Up next, it’ll be Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn!
-Backstage with Kane and Shane O’Mac. Kevin Owens shows up and asks for Steph. KO says he doesn’t wanna cause trouble. KO says Alberto Del Rio only showed up twenty minutes ago, late to the show. KO says he should be taken out of the MITB match. Del Rio barges in and calls KO a “perro” as Shane says “Tranquilo”. He’ll be sued by LOS INGOBERNABLES BY JAPON! Del Rio says he was stopped by Airport security and if KO fights like he runs his mouth, it’ll be an ordeal. Kane raises his voice and says as a former director of Operations and as a potential Smackdown GM, he insists on a tag team match as a team building exercise. Kane says it’ll be KO and Del Rio against the Lucha Dragons and if KO and Alberto lose, Sin Cara and Kalisto will replace them in MITB. Shane says it’ll be a “barn burner”. Fire jokes. Cute. Back to the ring for great singles action!
Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn
-Zayn out to a huge reaction, followed by Cesaro with a solid reaction as well. Wristlock and armbar exchange early as the “Ole” chant breaks out. Zayn with a headscissors takedown and a two count. Zayn with a dropdown after a rope throw and Cesaro with a backbreaker counter. Cesaro sends Zayn to the outside as we head to a commercial break. Back with Cesaro in control with a headlock submission. Zayb escapes and he’s off the top rope with a crossbody and no three count. Cesaro follows it up with the uppercut train which Sami boards first class sadly. Cesaro hits a beautiful double stomp and gets a two count for his efforts. Cesaro into the ropes, but Zayn flattens him with a hard clothesline. Michinoku driver by Sami Zayn and a two count. Sami up top, but he is crotched and Cesaro hits that absolutely glorious suplex from the apron showing that sensational strength of his. Two count only. “This Is Awesome” chant. Finishers attempted and countered as Zayn turns an offensive attempt into a Code Red that plants Cesaro and there’s a three count! What a match!
Winner: Sami Zayn
-Up next, we’ll have a contract signing between AJ Styles and John Cena. Hopefully this is as awesome as the now infamous “BROTHER NERO” tomfoolery that took place between Matt and Jeff Hardy in TNA. There was an inflatable baby, a North Carolina mansion and barn, and a side effect through a table straight out of a backyard wrestling federation. It was absurd and I thank my good friend, Keiko Fukayama, for showing me that. Having said that, Cena and Styles sharing the ring again will be a thing of beauty and it’s up next!
DOO DOO DOO DOO! Cena is out to a heartfelt “John Cena Sucks” chants from the NO crowd. Highlights of the attack on the 15-time world champion from the Club. Cena grabs the mic inside the ring by the contract signing table as Michael Cole stands idly by. Cena talks about the rowdy audience. Cena talks about the affair with Styles and then he asks that Styles come out to the ring. That epic CFO music hits and Styles is headed to the ring. Heel or not, it’s one heck of a reaction. Styles grabs a mic and says for the past two weeks he has turned Cena’s world upside down. He says that at MITB, he’s gonna do it again. When the bell rings, he’ll be saying “you can’t see me”.
“Now, where do I sign?” -AJ Styles
Cena says that depends on Styles. AJ can sign one of two contracts, it’ll be Cena vs. Styles in a singles affair. One contract is Cena vs. The Club. Cena says, fifteen years in the making he wants AJ. If he signs the other, he’ll secure his spot as “Captain of The B*** Club”. Wow. He highlights the raucous crowd from a few weeks back and NO picks up where they left off with that chant. Cena says if AJ faces him, they’ll get a real answer to the question “what if”. They have another exchange and Cena tells him to “shut up”, sign the contract and then John won’t need a shovel, he’ll put Styles on a bullet train back to Japan to find his cojones. Styles signs for singles action and then he trashes Cena again. It’s made official and we’re gonna see a tremendous bout, that’s for sure!
-Backstage, Sami Zayn shown talking to Shane O’Mac and up next we’ll have the Lucha Dragons vs. Alberto Del Rio/Kevin Owens match.
-Highlights of the 2013 MITB match that Randy Orton won, which he later cashed in on Daniel Bryan after Daniel Bryan beat John Cena and HHH hit DBry with a pedigree.
Tag Team Match:
Lucha Dragons vs. Alberto Del Rio/Kevin Owens
-ADR and Owens are out, followed by the Lucha Dragons. ADR in control early and then he tags in KO, who works over Kalisto, before tagging ADR back in. KO hops off the apron and prepares to leave, but he’s in to break up a roll-up by Kalisto on Del Rio. Lucha Dragons in control heading to commercial after some high flying and we’ve got a “Lucha” chant to lead us out. More arguments after the commercial lead to a dropkick onto ADR that sends KO spilling out of the ring. Kalisto hits Salida Del Sol on Del Rio, but Kalisto is worn out. ADR rolls out of the ring, he’s about to get counted out, but KO rolls him back into the ring. A swanton by Sin Cara almost leads to another three count, but KO breaks it up again. Springboard back elbow by Sin Cara hits the mark. Kalisto is destroyed at ringside by ADR. Sin Cara with a rollup, but KO is able to comeback with the popup powerbomb that gets the three count and the win for his team. ADR hits a kick on his partner, standing strong heading into the PPV.
Winners: Alberto Del Rio/Kevin Owens
-Highlights of Miz on set for the Marine 5 talking about MITB. The IC Champ will not be at the PPV, but he’ll be back soon. Up next, it’ll be Dean Ambrose against Chris Jericho.
-After the commercial, Kevin Owens is arguing with Stephanie McMahon. KO complains about Sami Zayn being on commentary for the main event match. Steph blesses KO’s request to be on commentary for the main event. Del Rio shows up and he calls KO a “perro” again. Del Rio is given the opportunity to be the guest timekeeper for the main event. That is shaping up to devolve quickly.
-Highlights of the Ambrose Asylum earlier in the show. Shane and Steph arguing after the clip and Cesaro is booked as the guest ring announcer. They argue over Corporate Kane being at the show and they talk about Demon Kane. He is dismissed from consideration for the position and Kane references the car battery incident a number of years ago. Shane says Steph isn’t fit to run Smackdown either. Shane says he is.
Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho
-Everyone at ringside for the main event. ADR situated in the timekeeper position and Cesaro set to make the introductions as Chris Jericho’s music entrance hits. Cesaro introduces Jericho and he a great job saying that Jericho is now residing in “Stupid Idiotville”. I hear the rent is cheap. After a commercial, a 6 man tag is announced for Smackdown as Dean Ambrose heads up and is introduced by Cesaro. Cesaro says he looks like he just rolled out of bed. KO is epic on commentary and might be in the running with CM Punk for best wrestler on the headset. Ambrose in charge early and he whips Jericho into the corner. Jericho counters with chops, but he’s eventually taken outside the ring and off the apron by Ambrose. Ambrose with a high risk maneuver and he takes down Jericho and then he rips the headset off KO. Jericho whips Ambrose into the barricade and then he brings him back into the ring. A top rope maneuver and then he taunts Ambrose. Jericho gets Ambrose back to the outside after a springboard dropkick. Zayn, Del Rio, Cesaro and KO stand at odds as they head to the final commercial break. Back and Ambrose takes down Jericho with repeated shots. Jericho eventually gains control again and he gets Ambrose in the Walls of Jericho. Ambrose gets the rope break, but Jericho hits a lionsault. He then taunts Ambrose with slaps. Ambrose fires back and heads up top. Elbow into the pinfall and a kickout at two. They reference the fact that Alberto Del Rio has a hammer in his hand at ringside. Jericho tries for a Dirty Deeds on his own, but he is back dropped and Ambrose looks to apply the Walls of Jericho. Back and forth, eventually Jericho tries for a codebreaker, but Ambrose counters into the Dirty Deeds for the three count and the victory. As you can probably imagine, the seams come apart and the six men involved in the MITB match brawl and we see a suited Cesaro mixing it up with ADR. Owens has a ladder, but he is countered by Ambrose. Zayn props up the ladder and he launches himself onto his fellow participants. Jericho is all by his lonesome, and he takes the ladder, propping it up, grabbing a staged MITB briefcase with a big smile on his face, as his music plays and that’s it for RAW!
Winner: Dean Ambrose
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